Gaaaaah;

Baby fever. All day, err’day.

Walking through Target and seeing people with strollers in the baby section. Ugggh. Seeing posts from my many Facebook friends who either have babies or are pregnant. Every god damn thing. Babies. Pregnancy. ARGH.

I think our lives have just begun;

So, I am feeling pretty good lately. I got a treadmill maybe 2 weeks ago and I have managed to use it almost every single day since then. I decided Saturdays will be my “off” day, but that’s it – I will do some form of exercise the other 6 days of the week, no matter what. I can already see a difference in my stamina, and can already feel a difference in my physical strength. I didn’t get the treadmill as a weight loss tool, really — I know people can lose weight from any form of exercise, and definitely with running, but that wasn’t my main goal. I’ve been very aware of how out of shape I am for years, and it was finally time to do something more about it than make empty promises or sign up for yet another gym membership.

I know myself – I know how fickle I can be. I know how easily I can give up, how quickly I feel defeated. I know it’s hard for me to balance my busy life with some kind of routine, even though the routine will, no doubt, help me in many areas of my life. This is why the choice to buy a treadmill was the obvious winner. It’s something huge and expensive that sits less than 5 feet away from me all day long. It’s impossible to avoid. There couldn’t be anything easier than getting up in the morning and simply hopping on. I don’t have to really get dressed up, I don’t have to worry about the weather outside, I don’t have to put makeup on or even care about who sees me, I don’t have to fill the car up with gas or scrape ice from the windshield. Nothing. None of my usual excuses.

I know it’s probably much nicer to run outdoors, but with winter fast-approaching, I cannot rely on that! I know there’s hardcore runners who are outside no matter what the weather is, and I applaud them. I’d love to be among them someday. But not now. I want to integrate this exercise routine into my everyday life. Perhaps by springtime, when this is ideally a very solid part of my routine, I can do that. I have a beautiful walking/running/biking path just a few minutes away from my apartment. Tons of people are there at all times, it goes right across a gorgeous marsh — it’s amazing. Maybe that can be my reward when the weather starts to get nicer — actually running OUTSIDE. Where people can SEE me. It’s a crazy thought.

But a big part of the reason I decided to do this, finally, is because I was noticing the effects of me being out of shape even more. I had several engagement shoots in a period of a couple weeks, and it was obvious (to me anyways) how much I was struggling. Just the simple act of maintaining conversation while briskly walking, or climbing a hill too quickly, or walking up a flight of stairs… it was leaving me out of breath, and then desperately trying to hide the fact out of embarassment and shame. A 24-year-old woman should not have any trouble being active.

I’m also thinking of the future. Nate and I are hoping to have a baby in the next few years, and I know how much being physically fit and healthy will benefit me. Not only will it help in the pregnancy and childbirth areas, but it will help greatly when that baby eventually grows into a small child that runs and plays and gets into trouble. I don’t want to be panting while I try to keep up. I don’t want to turn down my kid’s request to play because I’m feeling too tired or lazy. It’s just not an option.

Basically the point of this post is to remind myself of how awesome this exercising thing is and hopefully — HOPEFULLY — maintain this state of mind for a long time to come. I promise future entries will be way less boring than this. 😉