I have been pretty down lately, honestly. Sometimes it takes a while to catch up with me but it did today. Just a series of things, really. I am in the process of figuring out some pretty huge life changes, but I am sort of in limbo for a while until they can take effect. Frustrating, to say the least. This is also my busiest time of year for work, so I am just BURIED. Completely. Overwhelmed at times. I know it’s 100% my fault, too, and I can’t decide if that’s better or worse (I’m leaning towards worse). I can’t resist making myself busy and the busier I am, the less time I have for all of the behind-the-scenes work, and then all of a sudden I’m drowning. I’m a practiced procrastinator and while I’m good at it some of the time, most of the time it just gets me in trouble. But ultimately I am just a people pleaser. It’s just so hard to say “no”, even if that “no” comes from a good place.
One of the most disappointing downsides to being so busy is not having time for ANYTHING except work. No time for my husband (except when we’re arguing or vegged out in front of the TV), no time for friends (what are those again?), no time for any self-soothing activities (baths, naps, walks), no time for any creative endeavors (personal photo projects, reading, blogging)… and it leaves me a bit frayed.
Also, my grandparents have been in town since September 13th and I’ve seen them MAYBE 5 times. They leave on Tuesday and of course this is my busiest weekend of the whole year, so I might see them one more time before they go. I love my family, my grandparents especially, and I know how self-sufficient they are — they don’t NEED us to hang out with them — but I would love nothing more than to have even just a few more days worth of time with them. They live in Ohio and while it’s not impossibly far, it feels that way sometimes. So that is a huge bummer.
On top of all that, I am still sick — sort of. It’s lingering on like it just can’t stand to leave me. Which is sweet, really, but I’d greatly prefer to have my normal energy (and breathing, and voice, and lack of cough) back.
Life just feels like it’s taken up by all of this minutiae and chores and errands and what about everything else?