Restless


This time of year is basically my “summer vacation” from work and it’s the time of year when I start to get restless. It’s easy to crave a calm and open schedule when I’m busy… but then the chaos winds down and I find myself wondering what the hell to do with myself. I am, of course, still tying up some loose ends work-wise, but that will be done within a week, at the most. And then what? I think it boils down to me being a workaholic at heart. I really do love having a packed calendar, having something that demands my attention at all times, even when it stresses me out. It gives me a larger purpose, I suppose. But when I’m left to my own devices, my mind doesn’t know how to occupy itself. An anxiety disorder will do that to you. An open mind, searching for things to latch onto, can be dangerous and can lead you down a slippery slope of boredom, restlessness, and self-loathing. Luckily I always have a myriad of projects that I want to work on during the summer/fall but don’t have the time or attention to devote to them, as well as things like website maintenance, pricing updates, portfolio additions, etc… but still. Sometimes it makes me wish that instead of having 6 months of insanity and 6 months of somewhat calm that it could be moderately busy all year long to just make things feel a little more balanced.

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