Waiting for Perfection

I’ve been away from this blog for WAY too long. I’ve missed it. I realized that I need an outlet where I can just write and talk about ideas and emotions and passions. And I realized this morning WHY I abandoned the blog so completely. I am always just waiting for perfection.

DSC_9127

I started to edit and work on behind-the-scenes photography stuff this morning when I realized I should be cleaning my office instead. It has turned into an absolute WRECK over the past months. There are random things EVERYWHERE — it’s basically become a large closet for, well, pretty much anything we don’t have a spot for — and it’s chaotic. It’s impossible to feel truly focused in here because my eyes are just jumping around the room — there’s a swim schedule on my desk, a box of wedding dresses on the floor, books scattered everywhere, loose pens, Post-It notes practically raining down on me, reusable shopping bags, half empty Poland Spring bottles, extra rolls of toilet paper, empty boxes with the styrofoam still in them, a folded up yoga mat. You get the idea. How do I expect to be motivated to do anything in here when my brain can’t settle?

The problem is that I’ve been holding off because I have this very specific vision for how I want my office to look and I knew that cleaning it really wouldn’t do anything to accomplish that vision. It needs to be painted, furniture needs to be assembled, things need to be purchased, photos need to be hung. It’s completely illogical, but I wanted to wait until I could do it right. An honorable goal, but one that ultimately delays my happiness, and where’s the sense in that? Why have beautiful photos sitting in a pile on my desk when they could be hanging on the wall for me to smile at? While it’s true that I may move them someday, I’d rather have them on the wall in the “wrong” spot than gathering dust in a corner.

That’s what happened to this blog, too. I had a period of time when I could devote the kind of energy and effort into maintaining this blog the way I ideally thought I wanted to. I was keeping a schedule, I was taking new photos, I was creating unique content and… I got lost. I made things so rigid that there was no more room for spontaneity, for passionate entries, for streams of consciousness, for bursts of photos or words or songs. When I realized I couldn’t make it perfect, I gave up entirely and abandoned it. Every day I would see the schedule sitting on my desk — stuck at March 1st — and I’d cringe. The thought of catching up was too daunting, and it was all just a reminder that I had gotten off track, making me feel ashamed and disorganized. I was waiting for perfection.

But that’s not really what I want. Things are rarely perfect, and the best things in life never are, at least not in the stereotypical sense of the word. I would rather do things the way I want, the way that makes me happy and makes me feel creatively stimulated and fulfilled and inspired, rather than letting all of these feelings of guilt and inferiority pile up around me. I would rather write in this blog when I am inspired to, when I am truly jolted to write, rather than stick with a rigid schedule that keeps me locked in a box. I would rather add an entry once or twice a week and let it be “imperfect” than not write at all while I grasp in vain at this completely fabricated perfection. And that’s what I intend to do!

Wishlist Wednesday! #7

390952327

Oh man. I know I say this every week but THIS WEEK’S WISHLIST is SO GOOD. I can’t even handle it. Apparently I am really in the mood to buy clothes and jewelry because that’s half the list. Welcome to my life. 😉


Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 4.41.05 PM

#1 Saber Necklace by Faris Du Graf, also available for purchase on Magpie & Rye ($298). I am just IN LOVE with this necklace. Probably one of my favorite things I’ve ever posted. SWOON.

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.13.29 PM

#2 Canvas Tote from ban.do ($20). I have a whole mini collection of tote bags and this would fit in SO PERFECTLY. I’d have the happiest reusable grocery tote EVER!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 4.57.47 PM

#3 Sequined Bomber Jacket from Forever 21 ($37.90). Also SO IN LOVE with this. Winter always seems to be the time that I am drawn to jackets that are nowhere close to being warm enough to actually be practical. But THIS is too good to pass up!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 4.59.59 PM

#4 Small Scale Maze Dhurrie Rug by Kate Spade Saturday, available for purchase from West Elm (prices vary based on size). I am considering painting my office a lighter color so I can fill it with more bold patterns and colors, and this would be a perfect rug for it!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.19.34 PM

#5 Kim Post Earrings by Shlomit Ofir ($46). I just love this geometrical, honeycomb design… such great statement earrings!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.15.05 PM

#6 Reassurance Phone Skin by Caleb Troy, available for purchase on Society6 ($15). This is a skin rather than a case, which means it’s an easy-to-remove vinyl decal for customizing your phone. This would be perfect for me since I hate bulky cases but love all of the beauty you can add to your phone. I am completely in love with these colors!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.05.53 PM

#7 Sci-Fi Retro Rocketship Earrings from Plasticland ($16). PERFECT. This entire website is killer — such amazing items and everything is damn affordable.

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.04.41 PM

#8 Skeleton Cat Candle by Pyro Pet, available for purchase from Urban Outfitters ($34). I’m always a fan of a great candle and this just takes the cake. The candle itself is gorgeous enough but then it melts away to reveal this downright mischievous kitty skeleton inside. So awesome.

20141230052119

#9 Aryn Vegan Motorcycle Jacket from Free People ($168). I’ve been wanting both an awesome denim jacket and an awesome leather or faux-leather jacket for a while now. This definitely fits the bill for the latter. Perfection!

Screen Shot 2014-12-30 at 5.06.42 PM

#10 “Catsuit” Bodysuit from Meowingtons (on sale for $44). Firstly, this is the cutest damn thing ever. The back side even shows a tail — EEE! Secondly, this entire site is all cat-themed items. Where have you been all my life!? They’re also having a crazy year-end blowout sale so… get to it!

Election Day

Screen Shot 2014-11-04 at 6.13.30 PM

I really do love Election Day. There’s just something electric in the air… the possibility for change and progress, seeing everyone exercise their right and civic duty to vote, the feeling of hope and maybe a little desperation (especially this year). Lots and lots and lots of “I voted!” selfies. Normally I’d be a little annoyed right now but FUCK YEAH, you voted, and you’re awesome for it. Show that shit off. Encourage others to get out there. I love it. So… here’s to turning LePage (zing!) and getting Mike “The Millworker” Michaud into office!